Friday, May 20, 2011

Updated Top 10 plus 1

Yes, it is Friday night. I sit in the shadows of my own criticism. . .

I was going to go for a poem there, but I will save that for another day. So I present to you my Top 10 this week. (this is not going to be a weekly thing)

Top 10 (Plus 1) Things You Post on Facebook That No One Cares About:
(Number 11 is a submission of a friend that I couldn’t leave out)

11. Links to YouTube of death-metal bands.

Oh listen to this new song from RAPTURE RAPE entitled, Soul Sh%#ter; although, it’s probably our fault for associating ourselves with these people.

10. A picture of you with your car.
I feel that there is a sense of insecurity associated with this.

9. Top 10 Lists.
Grow up. Seriously.

8. What you just ate.
The only thing less interesting about what is going into your body is what is coming out.

7. Heartfelt quotes that you post because you want to seem insightful to your friends.
I love stuff that is genuine; there are some things that just don't belong.

6. Polls.
I don't even know how to describe how unnecessary this is. Now that I say I don't like them, people will start inviting me to vote on their polls.

5. Your anger at someone else.
Quit being so passive and grow a pair. Go tell them whats up! Also, when you are updating about your submissive, prison-patron status, please feel free to spell words in a correct manner.

4. Pictures of your concert from last night.
How many pictures do we see that ACTUALLY show something? Every picture I've seen is just a shot of somebody who hurled up some lights and color from the deepest part of their stomachs.

3. Your workout.
Wow, I don't care. I'm positive no one else does either. You're like the guys at the gym who never leave the mirror and talk about how much protein they took in their bodies last night. I’m pretty sure I could kick your butt anyway.

2. Relationship updates.
This is probably the caviler inside of me. You should know, though, that every time you post an update about some useless object of your love, a newborn infant dies of rabies.

1. Mirror shots
I'm certain this doesn't bother anyone else as much as it does me, but it's almost as bad as people who flip the camera off. Who are you trying to impress you self-indulged child? I'd rather cut my wrists and do pushups in salt water than be friends with you.

OK, take whatever shots you want now.


  1. haha, yep, that's pretty close. #5 is the worst one. "worst night of my life" or "this weekend was going great until this" seriously, the passive aggressive Facebook post give me major douche chills.

    go here and let the hilarity ensue!

  2. Hey, I post thoughts of the day, which some call quotes, and it's to inspire people to be better you butt! Lol

  3. Brady, hilarious. I am glad that i could read that. and kelsie, smiles!