Yeah...someone in the front office needs to be fired.
http://ping.fm/Nq6Nf
Wednesday, April 11, 2012
Thursday, March 15, 2012
Monday, March 12, 2012
Wednesday, February 15, 2012
Thursday, February 2, 2012
S*** My Roommates Do - More Toilet Plugging
Title may be offense, but the offenses in my home keep getting worse. I WISH I could have had a picture for this.
My roommate plugged the toilet again. This time, he decided to use a Tupperware bowl to carry some of the "infected" water out through the house and toss it into the yard. The whole house stunk really bad. I'm pretty sure he threw the bowl away because that thing is unclean forever!
My roommate plugged the toilet again. This time, he decided to use a Tupperware bowl to carry some of the "infected" water out through the house and toss it into the yard. The whole house stunk really bad. I'm pretty sure he threw the bowl away because that thing is unclean forever!
Monday, January 30, 2012
Stuff My Roommates Do - Toilet Plugging
I was playing XBOX the other day and it is known that our toilet is not the best. Even if you take certain precautions, the poor girl can plug up with ease. As I was toiling in the efforts of saving planet Reach, my roommate came in and said, "Hey, I have to go to work. I will unplug the toilet when I get home." He had a 8 hour shift. What he left behind was something that is comparable to the Blob, but had expired years ago. Thank you for leaving that for me, roommate.
Sunday, January 29, 2012
Zombie Tip #Important - Surviving Survivors
I tend to scan the internet for survival tips on the end of days. I’m really not weird. I go on dates, albeit the never end up progressing farther than, “Hey I had a lot of fun tonight. We really should get together again." When a girl says that, it’s their code for “I’m looking for someone with a little more muscle, sorry. But hey, you have a good personality.” Besides that, I am normal.
More recently I saw a post saying to search for survivors once you have established your own surviving conditions. The person said drive to the edge of town and honk your car horn and see what comes running to you. If its zombies, you can just turn the other way. Yeah? Really? They won’t follow you since zombies NEVER tire and can run till their bodies just stop? That makes no sense, although the basic premise seems to be beneficial. I decided to break down a pros and cons list of this idea, the idea of looking for survivors.
PROS:
- Adding more people to your band of toughies.
- Other survivors may have extra supplies, and even more supplies, which would help you stay strong.
- Extra ammunition and, along those lines, more hands to harvest the dead.
- Many hands make light work.
- If you are going around the smaller towns, it could be fun just to go hunting. This allows for you to perfect your aim, or your swing. But always, ALWAYS, conserve ammo.
Cons:
- Chance of a survivor hiding a bite. A bad day just got a lot worse.
- If you have been holding out for a while, you maybe have established some “guidelines” and bringing an outsider into the mix may cause for some unrest.
- If you are a nomadic bunch on the road and you find another set of people, they may just want to kill you and steal all your stuff. Be wary of the road frequently traveled.
- Anyone you find may have something hunting them. Do zombies hunt? Think about it.
- This isn’t a con, but please, never honk your horn unless you have some elaborate plan. How many times must we watch a movie where someone goes around saying “hey! Is anyone there?” Inevitably, they are always the first ones to die.
Sunday, January 22, 2012
The Equation
I'm washing the dishes this morning and I think to myself: is there an equation to finding someone who is right for you? How does it work?
The reason I ask these questions is there are common occurrences all over the world of one person telling the other person how they feel. They really like them and feel a connection. But once they tell this person their inner wants and desires things actually go the opposite way. The quiet guy or girl goes after someone they love but get put in the friend zone. That person they want is chasing the idiot, the fool, the person who would never be right for them. They sit quietly and watch them constantly get hurt.
So I ask you, what is the equation? Why is it that the person that someone goes for never wants them in return? Did I miss something in school?
Also, I wish my roommate would do his dishes.
The reason I ask these questions is there are common occurrences all over the world of one person telling the other person how they feel. They really like them and feel a connection. But once they tell this person their inner wants and desires things actually go the opposite way. The quiet guy or girl goes after someone they love but get put in the friend zone. That person they want is chasing the idiot, the fool, the person who would never be right for them. They sit quietly and watch them constantly get hurt. So I ask you, what is the equation? Why is it that the person that someone goes for never wants them in return? Did I miss something in school?
Also, I wish my roommate would do his dishes.
Friday, January 20, 2012
Zombie Tip - Useful Items for the First Few Days
It's the first few days, maybe even hours, since you have first heard of an outbreak. You have been told that it is containable, but you know the truth. You have played hours of Left 4 Dead and watched every zombie movie since the 1940s. So what's next? You prepare, but if everyone is freaking out it is going to be hard to get some of the essentials. That's what I am for. Since I am obviously a genius with zombie survival, I have compiled 10 useful tools and items to gather in the first few days of the final days. Please feel free to post some of your items you would love to have, as well.Food & Water
I put this more towards the end since it really is kind of a no-brainer idea. Your body can last quite some time without food but you will need water. My family has huge 50-gallon tubs of water set aside, although I think they don't really expect to use it for a zombie apocalypse.
Frying Pan
Before you start laughing, realize that if you are stocking up on food, a frying pan can come in VERY useful. You can cook anything on it. I do. It works well as a weapon too.
Warm Clothing
Depending on where you live, you can never have enough warm clothing. There may be times when you are expected to live in the wilderness and if that is the case, there will be some cold nights ahead. Take a few minutes to evaluate your ensemble of dress and plan accordingly.
Tools or a Repair Kit
How many movies have we seen where something breaks down. A car, a generator, or even an electronic. Brush up on some of your common household items and especially your car. You never know when you are going to need to fix something bigger than a toaster.
First-Aid Kid
This should be on the top of your list. If someone gets bit, you won't be using this. You'll be using a weapon, but sometimes people can run into things, cut themselves, break a limp or get sick. Gather all the essential medical equipment you can/think you will need for the long road ahead. If all else fails, break into the hospital after everyone has been reanimated.
Gasoline
This one is an important one to me. Yes, in Left 4 Dead you will find that shooting a can of gasoline starts a huge fire and burns all the zombies. Not what I am going for here. Generators, cars, anything that you can run on gasoline will eventually run out! Stock up on it if you can. If you need to, siphon it out of other peoples cars. Chances are they are dead anyway.
Axe-Hatchet-Chainsaw
Here, gasoline is helpful if you have a chainsaw. All of these things are kind of inclusive for me, besides the chainsaw, that is ideal but not always around.
Rope
As stated by Samwise Gamgee, you will always need a good rope. I won't even begin to lay down all the ways you will use a rope. Google it.
Fire
This isn't really take fire with you. You can't. Unless you’re a magician but instead keep a good flint in hand and a lighter if possible. If not, the flint will work and brush up on your Boy Scout fire creating techniques. I usually cheated at making the fire so I'm gonna have to go back and look at some stuff.
A Good Knife
Knifes have endless uses. Between that and a rope, you're probably set if you are MacGyver. You will always have need for a good, sharp knife whether it is killing an animal, attacking someone trying to steal your food, or splicing two wire together so you can start your car. Try to make it big. Make Rambo jealous.
Tuesday, January 17, 2012
Sunday, January 15, 2012
Zombie Tip #...who cares. Find Some Shelter!
Whether its the initial contamination or months into the end of the world and the 4 Horsemen have already come and gone, if you're still alive, you need shelter. Having an established "HQ" can be an essential tool in survival! That being said, I almost think that some people might be better off on the move, but then again, location is everything in this situation.
I have a cabin that is the middle of nowhere. There are dairy cows all over the place. I know exactly what I am doing. I am picking my family up, getting all our food storage in the cars and headed to the cabin. During the good months, we could grow our own food. If there are any outbreaks up there, it's really going to be a few scattered incidents here and there since that area is mostly a farming community. We wouldn't be bothered at all. Middle of the forest is a little creepy, but it beats the crap out of fighting them off my doorstep every night, which can happen if you live in a big city.
Let's face it, it's probably more beneficial for you to establish some stronghold. But if you are running low on supplies, get on the move. Its dangerous, but its surviving. Bigger cities = more chances of zombie encounters. So what do you do?
Thoughts?
I have a cabin that is the middle of nowhere. There are dairy cows all over the place. I know exactly what I am doing. I am picking my family up, getting all our food storage in the cars and headed to the cabin. During the good months, we could grow our own food. If there are any outbreaks up there, it's really going to be a few scattered incidents here and there since that area is mostly a farming community. We wouldn't be bothered at all. Middle of the forest is a little creepy, but it beats the crap out of fighting them off my doorstep every night, which can happen if you live in a big city.
Let's face it, it's probably more beneficial for you to establish some stronghold. But if you are running low on supplies, get on the move. Its dangerous, but its surviving. Bigger cities = more chances of zombie encounters. So what do you do?
Thoughts?
Friday, January 13, 2012
Guest Blogger of the Week: Mia Lucas
Mia is an avid writer but more so her idiom is perfection. She speaks the English language better than anyone else who speaks it. She takes pride in knowing the right word for the right occasion. More importantly, she knows a lot about dating! although her biggest fault is not living in the same area code as the other person we won't hold it against her. Here is one of her dating tips. And, if you want to know more, visit her blog at http://direnonsense.blogspot.com
Here is tip! Follow it boys. It'll work.
Here is tip! Follow it boys. It'll work.
She wants you to approach her. We don't dress up and shave our legs and walk on stilts for nothing. Get over here. If you approach her and you get rejected then maybe you need work on technique or delivery, but don't throw the baby out with the bathwater. Don't take rejection to meanyou are undesirable or that the girls don't want you. Just keep toying with technique, and see what happens. There is no harm in approaching a girl, no matter what kind of weird look she gives you. She's just taken by surprise, don't mind her. She doesn't know quite how to react but trust me - internally she's taken it as a compliment that you've made the approach. You might have made her day, if not walked away with her number and dinner-and-a-movie plans. Never fight the urge to approach her if the urge presents itself. If she isn't engaged in conversation and if she isn't engaged in general - basically, if there's no ring on her finger - and you feel inspired to talk to her...do it! If you don't want to impose on her, feel free to say something like "I'd hate to make you uncomfortable, so I'll just leave you with this in case you text too much like I do" then give her your card or something else with your info on it. It sounds like a risky move, but it certainly shows courage. She'll be intrigued if nothing else, and she might just have to text you to see what the fuss is all about.
Tuesday, January 10, 2012
Zombie Tip of the Day: Can Your Heart Take It?
Before we talk about this tip, I would like to bring up that from the last tip, someone pointed out something that was not a clash of agreements but a very substantial point. It's true that melee weapons bring the combat up close and could cause easier sources of contamination. Now, I forgot about this, but what about a bow? I forgot that in the book I'm "writing" that one of the characters uses a compound bow since he was an avid hunter of more prolific game. Learn to use one of those. Easier to make ammo.
Now, moving on to the next tip. One thing I have learned in the years of contemplating and scrutinizing every zombie story out there is this: Become calloused. That's easy enough for me. I recently happened on a girl who I thought was "the one." I thought things were going really well and we could end up together. Come to find out it was not meant to be. Maybe I am bitter, but its taught me that people will eventually break your heart or go away from you. When you are stuck in the zombie apocalypse, you have to be able to kill anyone!
My family, and close friends, have asked if I would kill them if they got bit. I don't care if you got bit and are still a "human," you are going to turn and you have to be put down. Like a dog you've had for years but can no longer move on their own, you're doing them a favor. Family, friends, spouses, kids. . .it doesn't matter. You get bit, you gotta go!
Now, moving on to the next tip. One thing I have learned in the years of contemplating and scrutinizing every zombie story out there is this: Become calloused. That's easy enough for me. I recently happened on a girl who I thought was "the one." I thought things were going really well and we could end up together. Come to find out it was not meant to be. Maybe I am bitter, but its taught me that people will eventually break your heart or go away from you. When you are stuck in the zombie apocalypse, you have to be able to kill anyone!
My family, and close friends, have asked if I would kill them if they got bit. I don't care if you got bit and are still a "human," you are going to turn and you have to be put down. Like a dog you've had for years but can no longer move on their own, you're doing them a favor. Family, friends, spouses, kids. . .it doesn't matter. You get bit, you gotta go!
Saturday, January 7, 2012
Zombie Tip of the Day
As some of you know, the closer of my crew anyway, I am an avid zombie fanatic. I love the idea of an apocalypse of undead running through the streets and surviving it till the last one falls over from complete decay. And yes, they will decay if not nourished. They are still human and have the human genome and physiological makeup that if they don't eat, they will die. It's science. My science.
I figure, what I can do for you, my awesome fans, is present you with a few tips to make your end of days an easier, and slightly more enjoyable, route to take. Because let's face it, without guidance you can run into a few snags along the way. There's more to survival than trying to kill a zombie. What do you do when you run into humans who have lost the will to live? What if you run into those same set of survivors but they don't trust anyone but themselves, then you are in trouble. Ammo isn't always best. So, starting now, I will let you into my magnificant mind of zombie skills and a couple times a week present you with a tip. And these are in no particular order. I had these tips way before Zombieland.
Tip #1: Guns aren't always the best tool
Yes, it's true, a quick shot to the head and a zombie will drop. That has been proven in every movie possible and it just makes sense. But if you are months into your survival and are in a populated area, chances are you would be running low on ammo. That being said, you need to find other ways to keep yourself safe. Hopefully you can stomach what will happen because your combat is about to become close quarters. Find yourself a sturdy Louisville Slugger. That will rattle any brain. An axe would also be a great tool. Anything your two hands can wield. Or if you are a ninja, maybe there are other tools you find useful. If you are held up in a good shelter with enough supplies to make it for a while, save that ammo for any wandering LIVING humans who want to steal from you. Chances are that you will find it easier to get them to run away with a gun to their head than you would a zombie.
And. . .comment. Thoughts?
I figure, what I can do for you, my awesome fans, is present you with a few tips to make your end of days an easier, and slightly more enjoyable, route to take. Because let's face it, without guidance you can run into a few snags along the way. There's more to survival than trying to kill a zombie. What do you do when you run into humans who have lost the will to live? What if you run into those same set of survivors but they don't trust anyone but themselves, then you are in trouble. Ammo isn't always best. So, starting now, I will let you into my magnificant mind of zombie skills and a couple times a week present you with a tip. And these are in no particular order. I had these tips way before Zombieland.
Tip #1: Guns aren't always the best tool
Yes, it's true, a quick shot to the head and a zombie will drop. That has been proven in every movie possible and it just makes sense. But if you are months into your survival and are in a populated area, chances are you would be running low on ammo. That being said, you need to find other ways to keep yourself safe. Hopefully you can stomach what will happen because your combat is about to become close quarters. Find yourself a sturdy Louisville Slugger. That will rattle any brain. An axe would also be a great tool. Anything your two hands can wield. Or if you are a ninja, maybe there are other tools you find useful. If you are held up in a good shelter with enough supplies to make it for a while, save that ammo for any wandering LIVING humans who want to steal from you. Chances are that you will find it easier to get them to run away with a gun to their head than you would a zombie.
And. . .comment. Thoughts?
Thursday, January 5, 2012
Wednesday, January 4, 2012
Guest Bloggers Wanted (Or Podcasters)
No, this is not a way to promote myself. Actually, it's more of a way to interweave myself with the creativity and absurdity that I know many of you have, but have no way to relieve it. Relieving your creative conscious is like peeing. You need to do it while you are awake, otherwise it will happen in your sleep.
What I have done for you, is given you an opportunity to step up here. I have a decent amount of followers plus my social media outlets will help get you out there. Maybe you already have a blog and want to promote it. That's completely fine. Let us formulate a new guild here (not of elves and dwarves) but of men, and women. Maybe kids too but I don't want to be that creepy guy.
So if you want to comment on this and get the ball rolling, please do.
-- Alex Jenkins
What I have done for you, is given you an opportunity to step up here. I have a decent amount of followers plus my social media outlets will help get you out there. Maybe you already have a blog and want to promote it. That's completely fine. Let us formulate a new guild here (not of elves and dwarves) but of men, and women. Maybe kids too but I don't want to be that creepy guy.
So if you want to comment on this and get the ball rolling, please do.
-- Alex Jenkins
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